Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My bidness.

I normally keep my personal life very separate from this blog. Don't feel bad, I'm just private like that...even in real life. I used to be an open book, but I learned the hard way that it's not easy being an open book in a world short on grace. I closed the book. My phrase to my husband is "don't you be tellin' folks my bidness." Did I mention I think everything is my bidness???

Well let me open up a little to say that this past month or so has been rough. I've been overwhelmed by emotions and circumstances. We live away from all of our family and raising 3 little boys 7 and under (with very active 4 year old twins as part of that number) can be hard. On top of that, I've been feeling super emotional, having some other symptoms, and I've gained 14 lbs in a month or so. UGH. I went for tests yesterday at the medical center in Houston and found out I have an benign ovarian will be ok. The prognosis: there will be more. The treatment: Take 2 suck-it-ups and don't call me in the morning...oh yeah, it can be incredibly painful so you have that to look forward to.

I am relieved it's not worse but upset that it doesn't really answer the other questions.  I think my hormones are outta whack but they wouldn't run bloodwork on me even though I asked. Anyway, I get home and my twin's former preschool teacher (who I am happy to now call a friend) told me she was sewing and God laid on her heart to tell me everything will be ok and to show me Isaiah 43:2 (and part of 3)

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I never told her what was going on.  That would be under that umbrella of things too personal to share.  I was really touched and I'm glad she opened her book up a little to share with me.  I wrote back and told her what had happened and thanked her. 

Anyway, in other "bidness", I have been quilting but I can't show it all yet.  I really hate when people tease with the "super secret project" stuff, so I will be open once again today and say that my best friend Amie and I are trying to get a book proposal together.  I realize in saying that I may fail miserably, but that's ok.  It's my quilty dream to write a book and it's also been one of those things Amie and I have always talked about..."girl, let's write a book full of real stories about people in the south."  "girl, let's write the next Jane Eyre together."  "girl, let's write a quilt book."  Thanks to Andie Johnson for the gumption.  If nothing else, we will have a pile of quilts we love that we can hand out at Christmas and maybe a pattern or two out of the work.  We're going to be quilting anyway, why not!


  1. Sorry about the health issues. No fun at all. Good luck with the book. I miss Texas. Enjoy it for me.

  2. I hope you find that being more out there with your bidness is a good thing. Had I been more open about my bidness, perhaps I would have got the encouragement and advice I'm going to give you and perhaps my health ordeal wouldn't have been so grueling.

    My advice to you is to listen to your body. If your doctor won't listen to you, go to another doctor. Keep going to doctors until you find one who will listen and do proper follow-up. Try a naturopathic doctor as well. A 14 pound weight gain over a month is not normal. And while you have every reason to be a tired Mom, perhaps you're more fatigued than you should be. If nothing else, a doctor should be testing your thyroid. And bear in mind that the standard tests for thyroid problems aren't always accurate. There ARE better tests for thyroid disorders. Just be aware. Google it.

    Perhaps if someone had encouraged me as such, I would have insisted that my doctor check the lump in my breast that I had found. Perhaps I wouldn't have trusted his, "Don't worry. It's just a cyst". Perhaps I would have gone to another doctor when, after my complaints of fatigue and weight gain, my doctor said, "You're perfectly healthy. Just get more exercise". Had I trusted myself more than my doctor, I would have pursued these issues and then maybe my breast cancer would have been found earlier and maybe I wouldn't have needed chemo. And I also believe that if a doctor had listened to my issues when I brought them up, maybe my hormonal imbalance would have been realized and perhaps I wouldn't have had all the symptoms of estrogen dominance which, I think, at least was a major contributor to my estrogen-fed breast tumour. Too much estrogen causes high breast density, which is a recognized risk factor for breast cancer. I had VERY dense breasts that only became that way after I started gaining weight rather suddenly.

    I'm not saying you're heading down the same path as me. What I'm trying to drive home is the importance of trusting your own instincts and listening to your body. Be your own health advocate and be loud if you need to be. Just sayin ....

    Didn't mean to get all up in your bidness! ... LOL ...

  3. It's pretty hard to be open to the whole world, isn't it? I grew up in small town America as a total outsider. I hate gossip, and I hate petty ignorant jerks who only talk bad about others. So I know how you feel.
    But I agree with the comment above, think you better start fighting to have a full blood work up. I gained 65 lbs in a year, and tried all kinds of diets, and come to find out my thyroid was just enough out of whack to need medication. And I've dropped most of the weight too. So start harassing people! I am going to try to reign myself in, but I'll just say that all my major health stuff has always been taken care of by the NHS. I wish you had one too. No civilized society should let health care be big business. Ok, very sorry! I just get a bit upset when people are ill and ignored.
    Maybe start mentioning words like lawyer and congressman? Lol! But don't overlook it!
    Ok, sorry, I will get off my soap box now.

  4. i agree with the above---get that CBC. anything out of the ordinary for you needs to be checked out.
    and best wishes on the book!

  5. Ovarian cysts...yeah not fun. I have only had one. I found that out after spending time in emergency as it had burst. Yes very, very painful. The drugs they gave me were good. I hated it when people told me, oh I had one of those burst but the pain last a couple of hours. Remember, your body is different then everyone elses.

    I will say a prayer for you and pray that God gives you His comfort and protection.

  6. So sorry to hear that life has been yucky and painful lately. Glad to know that God has been reaching out in His marvelous, mysterious, way. You've got to love a God like that.

    There was a recent post on the Rabbit Room blog that I think you would enjoy. I can't remember the title, but it is from a song by Michael Card. I think it was a couple of posts back.

    Good luck with the book (that is the part that reminded me of the post). Can't wait to read it.

  7. I have to say that I totally agree with everyone else. You know yourself better than any doctor who doesn't know you from Adam other that what he sees in black and white on a piece of paper once a year. I had to switch to a different doctor....who finally ordered CTs and MRIs. That was when I found out that my uterus was (and I quote) "the size of someone three months pregnant" and that my ovaries were twice the size they should be. I then DEMANDED that it be taken out. I still have my right ovary but I have never regretted having the rest of it removed. It was the best decision that I have ever made. A doctor telling you that you don't need to have this or that done because it isn't necessary or because you are too young (which is what I was told) or because of the risks of osteoporosis, heart disease, early menopause or HRT..... well, they didn't have to cry because it hurt too bad to pick up the Thanksgiving turkey and put it in the oven. Quality of Life is a beautiful thing. The only good that ever came from my reproductive system were my two babies. Other than that it was just defective garbage. And now I can rake and sweep and mop and ride horses and garden and do all sorts of things that I never felt like doing before, or things that physically I wasn't able to do. Take two suck-it-ups and call me in the morning just doesn't quite cut it for me. That doctor sounds like someone I would mark off my list and never refer anyone to. Some doctors just don't care. And just because they have M.D. behind their name doesn't always make them right.

  8. The post is called "God's Own Fool."

  9. You are lucky that you have such good people around you. I'm sorry that you have had such an ordeal but don't just put up with it. You know there is something up, so keep looking around for answers. Demand a blood work-up. I think we forget that doctors are our employees paid to help us get well. If they aren't serving us well, find someone who will do the job right!

  10. oh, ouch, I feel your pain! I have an ovarian cyst as well - this last summer I had a *major* pelvic infection that I was in the hospital for 4 days on IV antibiotics - they thought the cyst was the infection at first, but afterwards the cyst was still there. So, I decided to get my tubes tied, and they drained the cyst while they did the tubal. I know the cyst is back though - and he said if it did come back that it would be pretty much ''deal with it''. I don't have health insurance right now, or I think I'd make them surgically remove it, not just drain it. It's very painful, especially 'that' time of the month :(

  11. Bless your heart....Sorry to hear that you're having health stuff going on...I'd totally get another opinion. My friend Bev had thyroid problems..her symptoms sound a lot like the ones that you're having. BTW. You and Amie should totally go for it. Ya'll both make beautiful quilts. I think ya'll would do a fabulous job. I'd buy the book and then brag that I knew you two...

  12. put me on your calendar... after may 31st I am free... just saying..

  13. Don't be afraid to share...that way we can lift you up! Hugs to you.

  14. Girl, it will get better. But I do think you need another opinion.

    I'm pumped about the book!


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